harlii.ol.day

It all started when I was in the middle of a rocky relationship, that phase where you’re just not sure if things can be saved. And that’s when he walked in (Dran)—seemingly perfect, just the right blend of mystery and charm, always smelling great, with a sense of humor that kept me smiling. He made me feel special, like I was the only girl in his world. But little did I know, I was stepping right into a maze of red flags, neon-bright and flashing in the skies like fireworks. At first, I brushed them off, thinking I could "open his mind" or help him grow. But sometimes, no matter how much you try, people aren’t willing to change. Soon, his true nature surfaced, wrapped up in jealousy and possessiveness. At first, he said it was because he was "protective" and “not secure about the people around me.” He’d get upset if I wanted to go out with friends, made excuses for why I should stay home, and got suspicious of anything that wasn’t centered around him. His jealousy t...

I think about you constantly. I wonder what life would be like if you were still here. I imagine all of the things you'd say. I imagine all of the different adventures we would have gone on. I wonder who I would be if you were here. I wonder what we would all be like. I think about all of the different ways things would've turned out with you in our lives. I miss you all the time. I miss you so much that my heart hurts. My heart literally clenches tightly when I think of you, as though it's trying to hold itself together while my thoughts try and tear it apart. Time is supposed to heal all wounds but, it seems as though time just provided me with a band-aid that gets old and falls off more often than not. I know you'd hate it, but I still cry for you. I still sit up at night and wish that you were here. I still talk to you and ask you for advice. I can't help but want you here. Life has moved on but my heart and emotions haven't. I can't move on....

I’ve been through my share of ups and downs, but nothing quite compares to the turmoil of a toxic relationship. It’s the kind of experience that carves itself into your memory—anger, frustration, shouting, and the deafening noise of arguments where, halfway through, you forget what you’re even fighting for. It’s chaotic, a mess of emotions tangled in envy, jealousy, and gaslighting, with control at the center. There’s no real peace in it—only fleeting moments of calm between storms. When you’re caught in the whirlwind of a toxic relationship, it feels like you’re constantly tiptoeing around shattered glass, avoiding another explosion. You begin to question your reality, constantly walking on eggshells, never sure if the love you thought you had is real or just another manipulation. Gaslighting becomes a language, and you start to doubt your own truth as your world warps into something almost unrecognizable. I’ve felt the sting of envy pierce through conversations and the weight of jeal...