You could, but you can't. you could, but you won't.

 Not to get too personal on a platform designed for sharing with strangers, but mourning a friendship you chose to end is a unique and strange kind of grief.

that thing you saw that made you think of them, who will you share it with?

that thing sitting on your desk that you hadn't gotten around to mailing to them, what will you do with it now?

that trick or skill they taught you, that resource they shared with you, that song they played you that you still like-- they're still part of your life, but now sometimes you feel sad and angry when they come up and wonder if you have a right to them anymore. 

your friend isn’t dead. somewhere, they are alive and experiencing all the joys you would have celebrated with them and the pain you would have tried to support them through. they're having a day somewhere and you're not going to ask them how it's going. you're not going to talk about it. you're not going to laugh at those inside jokes you had with only them ever again.

you'll never talk to them again. you could, but you can't. you could, but you won't. 

it's for the best. you wouldn't have made the choice you did if you didn't sincerely believe that. but still, this strange grief for the living.

where do you put it