A Blurry Situationship That Became a Friendship

 A Blurry Situationship That Became a Friendship

Snapback to 2010 

It all started with an innocent invite—a typical night out with friends, a little drinking, and the usual banter. My friend, Jeff, casually mentioned there would be a small get-together at his friends place, and, oh, by the way, my ex would be there too—with his new girlfriend. I couldn't show up alone, not with my ex flaunting his new relationship. I wasn't about to be the single one in the room while they played happy couple.

I confided in Jeff, and he came up with a wild idea. "Why don’t my friend RM pretend to be your boyfriend for the night?" It sounded a bit over the top, but honestly, I was desperate enough to say yes. RM, who I’d only met in passing before, agreed to the plan without hesitation. He seemed to find the whole thing fun—a chance to play pretend, to turn the tables for a night. We laid out the details, kept it playful, and decided to lean into the act just enough to make it believable.

When my ex and his girlfriend showed up, RM and I stepped into our roles seamlessly. We were all smiles, sitting close, sharing playful whispers. It was the most fun I’d had in a while, and to my surprise, I wasn’t the only one enjoying the charade. RM played his part perfectly—being touchy, leaning in, giving me those reassuring looks. The best part? My ex’s discomfort was visible, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel like a small win. He didn’t stick around long, making a quick exit with his girlfriend. 

After that night, things between RM and me became... blurred. What had started as a one-time gig turned into a strange in-between—something more than a friendship but not quite a relationship. We didn’t put a label on it, because, well, it didn’t fit into any category. There was just this spark, this undeniable chemistry(for me I guess) that made things both exhilarating and confusing. We had fun together, flirted endlessly, but we both knew it wasn’t meant to be anything serious.

There was one night, not too long after our “pretend-pretend” when RM and I met up after his shift (his POV). We went to my bestfriend’s house, had a few drinks, and ended up back at my apartment. We laughed, flirted, and let the night lead where it would. It was carefree and easy, and for a while, that was enough.

After that night, RM and I didn’t see each other much. I moved to a new apartment, coincidentally closer to where he lived, but it wasn’t planned. I was living my life, enjoying my freedom, and figuring myself out. I was dating around, I was talking to other guys, but I wasn't romantically or intimately involved with any of them.. For RM though There was something about him—his smile, his effortless charm—that just stuck with me. There were moments when I genuinely wanted to say hi, and days when he crossed my mind more than I'd like to admit. But I kept my walls up because I was unsure. I’d heard some rumors from a friend that he is with someone, though nothing was confirmed. I didn’t want to risk it. I also had this lingering thought that he might see me as just another fling (bish)—like, how could he not? Something happened between us, and then I acted like it was no big deal. In hindsight, reaching out felt like a reckless idea, so I chose to play it safe and act like I didn't care.

On my 21st birthday, threw a party at my place. Drinks were flowing, and the atmosphere was lively. Out of the blue, RM showed up, and seeing him felt like a breath of fresh air. That same chemistry was still there, unspoken but palpable. We laughed, we drank, we kissed—but that was it. After that night, we drifted apart, and our lives took different paths.

I didn't hear from RM again until 2020. By then, life had changed, we’d both moved on, but he was still someone who brought a smile to my face when I thought about him. During the pandemic, we stayed in touch regularly, and he became my go-to for advice. Even though I still had those "kilig" (butterfly) feelings for him, he casually mentioned that he was on the verge of breaking up with someone, so I decided to keep things cool. I shared stories about my situationship with another guy, keeping things light and strictly friendly between us.

Then one day, we met up again, but this time I was with my boyfriend and a mutual friend. We spent the evening reminiscing about the good times we'd had, but of course, we steered clear of any talk about the situationship part (lol). It was fun to see him happy and laughing, and I realized how much time had passed since our last real connection. It felt good to be in a new chapter of my life, with everything in a better place.

There’s a song that perfectly captures what we had: "Started as friends but it got kinda complicated. You knew that you didn't want more but you'd never say it out loud." "It was only temporary But I guess our feelings were good for a while Now you're just a memory A story that I'll never tell 'Cause our worlds just didn't collide You had yours and I had mine Got lost in different directions"

We were temporary, fleeting, but the feelings we had were genuine for that time for me. Now, he's just a memory, a nostalgic part of my past that I rarely talk about, but fondly remember.

Despite all the blurry lines and mixed signals, RM and I stayed in touch here and there. It wasn’t awkward or weird, just... different. Our situationship never turned into a relationship, and we were okay with that. We both had our own lives, our own paths, and they simply didn’t collide in that way.

Now, I’m in a happy, stable relationship, and I don’t find myself dwelling on the "what ifs" anymore. But every now and then, when I hear a certain song or remember those carefree nights, I smile. RM was never “the one,” but he was a friend who made a confusing time in my life a little more fun, a little less lonely. And for that, I’m grateful.

So, here's to the blurry, undefined situationships that, in the end, become a part of our story--  It was fun while it lasted, and that’s enough for me.